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Disability Didn’t Make Me A Loser, Comfort Made Me the Exact Expat “Loser” Taiwanese Despise

(此文為英文版部落格，欲看中文版開箱評價文，請點以下連結🔗/ This post is in English; for the Chinese version review, please click on the link below🔗）：
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Life After a Stroke in Taiwan: Overcoming Comfort and Rediscovering Curiosity

For years, I thought my stroke was the biggest tragedy of my life. Then, Nico visits Taiwan. Not because he fixed anything, not because he wants to apologize, not because friendship conquers all. Life isn’t a Disney movie. If anything, life resembles a drunk raccoon rummaging through a dumpster fire while screaming obscenities at the moon. No. Nico’s visit matters because he unknowingly held up a mirror, and for the first time in years, I fail to recognize the woman staring back. The funny thing about losing everything is that eventually you stop noticing what’s still missing. You adapt. Human beings are terrifyingly adaptable:

  • Throw us into war—we adapt.
  • Throw us into poverty—we adapt.
  • Throw us into heartbreak—we adapt.
  • Throw us into a tiny apartment in Taiwan with your seventy-something-year-old mother after spending decades roaming the world—we adapt.

Eventually, the extraordinary becomes ordinary, the impossible becomes routine, the miracle becomes background noise. And that is exactly what is happening to me. This process has shown me that embracing change can lead to unexpected growth and resilience.

Ten Years Ago: From Editor-in-Chief to Stroke Recovery

Ten years ago, I relocated to Taiwan, feeling really low. I used to be somebody: I was a founder of a company; I was an Editor-in-Chief of a major magazine; I was an adventurer; I was a woman who travelled to countries just like some people collect fridge magnets.Then I had a stroke. It made me feel really uncertain about my future. My biggest achievement became being able to walk to the bathroom without fainting. This change made me realize how important it is to know myself to deal with situations. Knowing myself helped me navigate through times. It also made me appreciate accomplishments like walking to the bathroom. I realized that being aware of my strengths and weaknesses is key to moving forward.

The Trap of Comfort and the Reality of Expat Life

Perspective is a hell of a drug. At first, I hated Taiwan. Then I tolerated Taiwan. Then I appreciated Taiwan. Then something. I turned into one of the people I used to think were losers. You know, the foreigners who come to a place for a year but end up staying for five or ten years. They spend all their time sitting in coffee shops complaining about everything but never doing anything to change it. These are the people who get too comfortable. They just stop trying to learn things they stop asking questions, and stop dreaming. I always said I would never be like those people. Life has a way of surprising us, and life loves to do the opposite of what we expect. It is of like how I love getting free food life is full of surprises and life is full of free food but life is also full of things that life does to us that we do not expect and that is what makes life so interesting because life is like that and people who get too comfortable, with life miss out on all the fun that life has to offer and that is why I love life because life is always doing the opposite of what people expect and I love that about life.My mother is the reason I stay in one place. She is my friend, my family, and my home all rolled into one. My support system is based on my mother. My mother is very strong and can handle anything that comes her way. Trusting myself to care for her and stay grounded has strengthened my confidence in my own resilience and judgment.People leave their homes for a job. I stay because I love it here. For a time that feels like the right thing to do. Maybe it is the thing to do. Maybe it still is the thing to do.. Doing the right thing and not moving forward are not the same thing. Then Nico says something that surprises me: Japan is actually a little cheaper, I think. I laugh, at first. Then I stop laughing. Then I am completely shocked. Because Japan is a country that I always thought was very expensive. Japan is a place that I thought I could only visit if I were very lucky. Is Japan cheaper? What is going on? How can that be? Since when is Japan cheaper?That is when it hits me: the problem is not whether Japan is cheaper. The problem is that I really do not know anymore. Ten years ago, I would have known the answer to this question. Ten years ago, I would have had a lot of information in my head about exchange rates, travel blogs, people I knew in the industry, and prices. I used to compare prices and read about places. Ten years ago, I was very curious about everything.Now I have stopped doing these things. I have stopped looking for information, comparing prices, exploring new places, and asking questions.Japan is still on my mind. I think about whether Japan is cheaper or not, and I wonder what my next move will be. This lingering question symbolizes my ongoing search for clarity and purpose. Sharing my uncertainty invites readers to reflect on their own journeys of self-discovery and change.

Recognizing Comfort as a Silent Threat to Growth

My stroke opened my eyes once. But maybe over the years they’ve slowly drifted shut again. Not from arrogance this time. Not from selfishness, not from recklessness. Just comfort, and comfort is so much harder to recognize because it feels good. Pain announces itself. Comfort tucks you into bed and sings lullabies. Comfort tells you: you have worked enough, you have suffered enough, you have done enough. Rest.. Before you know it, ten years have passed. Then an old friend visits: a man carrying pieces of your life, a man who has continued moving while you have remained still, a man who casually mentions that Japan is cheaper. You suddenly remember the person you used to be. This is not the successful person, the famous person, or the person who is always trying to achieve more. It is the person who’s curious. The version of you that always asks questions. The version of you that never wants to settle for what you know. The version of you that thinks being alive is about learning and growing. That is the woman I miss. I do not miss Editor-in-Chief Tanya, the Tanya who attends parties, or the Tanya who’s a big name in the media. I miss Tanya. I miss the girl who wants to learn everything about the world. The girl who thinks the world is like a book that she wants to read. Maybe this is the thing to remember about Tanya. Maybe my stroke isn’t punishment, Maybe every bad thing that happened isn’t karma, Maybe some of it is simply life, Maybe some of it is randomness, Maybe some of it is tragedy, Maybe some of it is growth, And maybe I have been blaming myself so aggressively for so long that I’ve forgotten something important: Awful people don’t spend ten years trying to become better, Awful people don’t lie awake wondering who they’ve hurt, Awful people don’t pray for their friends, Awful people don’t spend a decade examining their own flaws.I do not think I am that person in this story. Perhaps I am just a normal person. I make mistakes. I think about myself sometimes. I am kind, to my friends sometimes. I really care about my friends.I get upset easily. I feel things strongly. I can be too much for people to handle. I am a human being.It has been a time since I felt this way.. Now I feel free because I think maybe I am not the bad guy. Maybe Nico came to Taiwan so I could learn some things about myself and move on from my problems. Maybe Nico came to Taiwan so I could think about my life and make some changes. Maybe Nico came to Taiwan so I could realize that I do not have to be the way I’m.

Redefining Health and What it Means to Win

At one point, I jokingly challenge Nico to try Taiwan’s legendary KIRIN Ice. Not because it’s particularly strong on paper—it’s only 10% alcohol— but because it has a reputation among everyone I’ve ever known. I’ve seen people who can down vodka shots, drink whiskey all night and handle strong cocktails with ease, but then they try KIRIN Ice, and it’s like they meet their match. Back when I used to drink, KIRIN Ice was my go-to: it had no sugar, was really refreshing, and was crazy easy to drink. I used to joke that while everyone else gained weight from alcohol, I somehow lost it. At the time, I considered that a victory. The younger me cared about things like that: Being skinny, looking good in photos, maintaining the image expected of the founder and Editor-in-Chief of a major media publication, being the face of a brand, being camera-ready, and being impressive. Back then, I thought that was “health.” Now I know better: Health isn’t fitting into a dress, Health isn’t looking good in a press photo, Health isn’t having strangers tell you how amazing you look. Health is waking up and trusting your own body. Health is having enough energy to spend another day with the people you love. Health is not having your life collapse overnight because a blood vessel in your brain decides it’s had enough of your nonsense.Nico stops after two cans. I tell him that is enough. A decade ago, I would have pushed him to keep going. Now I do not. Because somewhere between the stroke and the rehabilitation, and nearly losing everything, my idea of what it means to win has changed. There was a time when I would have been really proud to be able to outdrink anyone. Now I am much prouder of the fact that Nico and I do not need to drink a lot to have a good time. My definition of winning has. I am happy about that. I am happy that Nico stops after two cans. I tell him that is enough.
Nick Lee

Nick Lee

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  • Fashion Ecstasy

    Hello!  I am the blog owner & Editor-in-Chief of this bilingual website Fashion Ecstasy (http://fashionecstasy.com ) (both Chinese and English)!  Over 9 years since its inception, Fashion Ecstasy is the go-to media outlet for residents in Toronto and Taiwan.  After relocating to Taiwan, Fashion Ecstasy has immediately caught the attention across all industries, including Taiwan's Tourism Bureau! I was personally invited to become the official media partner to review Tainan’s English-friendly businesses for 2 consecutive years.

    See: 

    2017: 

    http://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/ 

    2018: 

    https://fashionecstasy.com/top-5-tainan-english-friendly-stores-2018/

      I have also worked with many well-known global brands across all industries. I am proficient in various Adobe Master Suite design softwares, including Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, PDF Acrobat Pro, and more. I am also active on all social media platforms. All of Fashion Ecstasy’s social media accounts are managed by me; please refer to:

    https://www.Facebook.com/fashionecsta

    Followers/fans: 3500 

    Twitter: 

    @fashionecstasy 

    Follower numbers: 2257

    Instagram: @fashionecstasy

    Followers: 3500

     Tiktok: @tanya.fashionecstasy 

    Number of followers: 30,6000 

    In addition, I also have my personal social media accounts:

    Twitter: @hsutanya

    Instagram: @tanya.fashionecstasy

    What you get from a review from us will be in both Chinese and English translation to expand your potential clientele, as well as a YouTube review video 

    You may reach me by:

    WhatsApp: (+886) 958771010

     Line ID: Tinkeebellezza (capital T, without @, please send me a message first so I don’t miss you） 

    WhatsApp ID: tinkerbellezza 

    WeChat ID: tinkerbellezza 

    Email: fashionecstasytv@gmail.com

    I look forward to collaborating with you.
    您好！我是知名網站時尚高潮 / Fashion Ecstasy (https://fashionecstasy.com)（中英雙語）的布落客主人&總編輯！時尚高潮創辦已經10年之久，源起加拿大，7年前中風後轉戰台灣，也新增了不少當地的粉絲。

    身為總編的我回台後立即受到相關業者的關注，包括台南市政府觀光局，並連續兩年內被台南市政府顧用介紹台南的英文友善特色商店與推廣台灣觀光業！請見：
    2017:
    http://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/
    2018:
    http://fashionecstasy.com/top-5-tain
    因為我是嚴重中風生存者，動過開腦手術，所以對鬧部心血管疾病跟醫療有專業的知識，至今仍在治療中，所以沒有上班、可以趕稿，也特別需要這份工作
    我從小在國外長大，精通中英文！
    我也曾與許多全球知名的品牌（美妝包括Body Shop, The Face Shop, Schwarzkopf 等等合作，請參考：

    學歷我擁有意大利服裝設計名校Istituto Marangoni Masters 的碩士學位，精通Adobe各項設計軟體，包括Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, 跟 InDesign, PDF Acrobat Pro. 我也善長使用現當最受大眾喜愛的網路社交軟體，Fashion Ecstasy 的所有關方社交網站都是由我ㄧ手管理，追蹤人數請參考：
    臉書/Facebook Fashion Ecstasy (http://fashionecstasy.com)追蹤人術/粉絲： 3335
    推特/Twitter: I
    追蹤人數2270
    Instagram/IG:
    @fashionecstasy (http://www.instagram.com/fashionecstasy)
    追蹤人數：3491
    抖音Tiktok: @tanya.fashionecstasy
    追蹤人數：306000
    除了管理Fashion Ecstasy 的官方設交網站外，我還有自己私人的帳號 (Twitter: @HsuTanya
    Instagram: @tanya.fashionecstasy)
    我去過四十幾個國家，可以無障礙的運用專業及當下流行的術語。日文略懂

    轉戰台灣後，立即收許多粉絲注目，也連續兩年被台南市政府顧用介紹台南的特色商店與推廣台灣觀光業！
    請見：
    http://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/
    2018:
    https://fashionecstasy.com/top-5-tainan-english-friendly-stores-2018/
    2017:
    https://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/
    Youtube頻道：

    https://www.youtube.com/user/FashionEcstasydotcom?sub_confirmation=1

    （訂閱人數：5.23K）

    希望有機會可以跟貴公司合作！與貴公司合作之文章我門都將中英譯，為貴公司帶來以及開發新客戶，真心希望與您合作！
    我的聯絡方式：
    電話:/ WhatsApp: (+886) 979905968
    Line (賴）ID: Tinkeebellezza  ( T 大寫，沒有@,要給我訊息才看得到喔！）
    WhatsApp ID: tinkerbellezza
    Wechat ID: tinkerbellezza
    Email: fashionecstasytv@gmail.com
     

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Collaborations or become one of us（邀稿、合作、或加入「時尚高潮的團隊）： 賴 （Line）ID: Tinkeebellezza ( 沒有 @，“T”大寫，要傳訊息才看的到哦！） Line App ID: Tinkeebellezza ( Capital “T,” without @, please send us a message, so we don’t miss you!)  https://line.me/ti/p/Riv8JfyrwU Email: fashionecstasytv@gmail.com 電話/ WhatsApp: (+886) 958771010 追蹤＆按讚 / Connect with us： ＦＢ （Facebook): http://www.facebook.com/fashionecsta 追蹤： @FashionEcstasy ( I G、 推特） follow: FashionEcstasy (Instagram & Twitter) 還有： @Tanya.fashionecstasy (IG) @HsuTanya (Twitter) Also: @Tanya.fashionecstasy (Instagram) & @HsuTanya (Twitter) Youtube YT訂閱 /  Please subscribe to our Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/FashionEcstasydotcom?sub_confirmation=1

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