Trying 300 Chicken Testicles and 100 Pork Kidneys – Bizarre Culinary Journey in Taiwan

Trying 300 Chicken Testicles and 100 Pork Kidneys – Bizarre Culinary Journey in Taiwan

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(此文為英文版部落格,欲看中文版開箱評價文,請點以下連結🔗 / This post is in English; for the Chinese version review, please click on the link below🔗 ):

https://fashionecstasy.com/canbian-zhongfeng-yi-ci-chi-300-ke-mayou-jifo-ji-gaowan-gen-100-pian-mayou-zhuyao/

  • Watch Our Youtube Open-box Mukbang Video First:

Chicken testicles are a delicacy in Taiwan. After witnessing foreigners gagging just at the sight of “century eggs” in Fear Factor, I’ve developed a hobby of teasing foreigners with foods that are likely to seem bizarre to them. By now, y’all know I’m adventurous at all things, and that includes trying bizarre foods. And, y’all know I like my seafood fishy and my meat gamey from my past food blogs. Although chicken testicles may sound bizarrely sickeningthey are relatively common in Taiwan. However, I’ve only tried them once in my teenage years. The impression is so strong I can remember how it tastes like I’ve just “popped” one. If I were to describe it, it tastes exactly like what it is: a thin layer of skin filled with semen that bursts in your mouth once you bite into it. The juice tastes just like the original semen as well. I’ve made a few foreigners puke with that description.  

Maybe I’ve been eating too healthy for too long due to my condition; hence, although my first attempt with chicken testicles took me by surprise, I’ve been craving something stinky for quite a while, specifically, chicken testicles. Maybe it’s my subconscious crying for sensuality.

So, I finally tried chicken testicles for the second time in my life. The joint we discovered also offers pork kidneys, so this time, I take it further a notch and pair them with pork kidneys. Although upon the transaction, I think to myself I may have a future in organ trafficking, I am no organ trafficker; I prefer to send them straight to my belly. Little did I know I’d unleash a monster and demolish 300 testicles and 100 pieces of pork kidneys in one setting. Now, my brains are still filled with semen.

Lifting the lid of the steaming container, the fragrant scents of sesame oil chicken soup waft up to greet me. My mouth begins watering uncontrollably at the delicious smells of chicken, pork kidneys and nutty broth.

Wasting no time, I am scooping up a piece of tender chicken along with a plump testicle buoying in the broth. Raising my spoon in toast, I declare, “To excess!” and savour the soft flavours melting over my tongue. The sesame oil has infused the broth with a richness I can’t get enough of.

Next, I am fishing out a slice of slip-off-the-tongue pork kidney, clutching it triumphantly. With relish, I pop it in my mouth. The sesame oil etches deep into its flavour. I am slurping and supping lost to the blissful taste.

As I raise another spoonful to my eager lips, the heavenly smell wafting up causes my stomach to release an audible growl. “Steady on, old friend; relief is nigh!” I chuckle at my tummy.

The chicken testicles are meltingly tender, each bite bursting and then dissolving on my tongue like a water balloon. Semen dissolves into my tongue; I can feel the sperm sprinting into my veins. Although having studied human biology, I am pretty sure they can’t reach my ovaries; I am the very definition of a miracle. Hence, if I do somehow get pregnant with a baby chicken, I embrace it (them) with unconditional motherly love. I snap back to reality; with food in sight, everything else comes next. I spot another plump testicle resting cozily in the broth and make it my prisoner, delighting in its pleasant springiness between my teeth. Truly, this is the finest delicacy mankind never knew it needed!

A slice of pork kidney calls out to me next, its fat rendered tender by the sesame oil‘s loving caresses. Ecstasy rises within me as I consume bite after bite, chasing each with slurps of the golden broth. What riches this simple soup contains!

Before I can blink, the bowl has been emptied, yet still, my stomach clamours for more. As I polish off the last drop of love juice off my chin, smiling blissfully, an idea strikes – could I convince the chef to part with their secret sesame oil formula? Just imagine the feasts I could concoct with such a treasure in my pantry! I can dream all I want. I snap back to reality once again, for this is the first time I am trying chicken testicles, pig’s kidneys, and sesame oil since my stroke. I don’t even know if it’s safe for my eczema or even stroke-proof. For now, it is time to let this meal settle before round two…

As I sit contemplating, a familiar warmth rises within my belly. But this is no mere post-prandial glow; nay, it is a deeper fire kindled by the testicles‘ aphrodisiac magic. I feel my appetite awakening yet again, though to what end I am not yet certain.

A light sheen of sweat beads my brow at the thoughts taking form. Could it be that oral gratification alone failed to satisfy the testes’ unquenchable thirst? I find myself pondering more carnal methods of appreciation for their flavour and texture. Indeed, from tongue to other available orifices, no avenue should be left unexplored in my quest to fully unleash their sensual power.

Alas, as enticing an endeavour as a one-testicle-man show surely promises, prudence dictates saving such pyrotechnics for a bedroom of my own. For now, fantasies must suffice – though perhaps on the morrow, I will pay a return visit, armed with a more vigorous digestion and flexible constitution. Until then, these loins shall simmer to a slow boil…

At some point, one chicken testicle slips out of my hand and drops onto the floor, bringing back memories of the time I went to a male friend’s place and saw the crumbled stacks of used tissued tossed into his garbage can, echoes of,” Dada…. daddy….” passed through my head, “What a waste, all these babies…” I thought to myself.”

Hence, I cannot let that ball go to waste; as fast as a ninja, I pick it up and pop it into my mouth. On such occasions, it only makes sense to implement the “3-second rule.” As you can see in my mukbang video above, a drop of thick and sticky fluid drools down my lips. Whether it is semen or saliva, I have no idea at this point already.

Before I noticed, I’d demolished 300 chicken testicles and 100 pieces of pig’s kidneys, and I’m happy to announce that I’m still alive, eczema-free!

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    Hello!  I am the blog owner & Editor-in-Chief of this bilingual website Fashion Ecstasy (http://fashionecstasy.com ) (both Chinese and English)!  Over 9 years since its inception, Fashion Ecstasy is the go-to media outlet for residents in Toronto and Taiwan.  After relocating to Taiwan, Fashion Ecstasy has immediately caught the attention across all industries, including Taiwan's Tourism Bureau! I was personally invited to become the official media partner to review Tainan’s English-friendly businesses for 2 consecutive years. See:  2017:  http://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/  2018:  https://fashionecstasy.com/top-5-tainan-english-friendly-stores-2018/   I have also worked with many well-known global brands across all industries. I am proficient in various Adobe Master Suite design softwares, including Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, PDF Acrobat Pro, and more. I am also active on all social media platforms. All of Fashion Ecstasy’s social media accounts are managed by me; please refer to: https://www.Facebook.com/fashionecsta Followers/fans: 3500  Twitter:  @fashionecstasy  Follower numbers: 2257 Instagram: @fashionecstasy Followers: 3500  Tiktok: @tanya.fashionecstasy  Number of followers: 30,6000  In addition, I also have my personal social media accounts: Twitter: @hsutanya Instagram: @tanya.fashionecstasy What you get from a review from us will be in both Chinese and English translation to expand your potential clientele, as well as a YouTube review video  You may reach me by: WhatsApp: (+886) 958771010  Line ID: Tinkeebellezza (capital T, without @, please send me a message first so I don’t miss you)  WhatsApp ID: tinkerbellezza  WeChat ID: tinkerbellezza  Email: fashionecstasytv@gmail.com I look forward to collaborating with you. 您好!我是知名網站時尚高潮 / Fashion Ecstasy (https://fashionecstasy.com)(中英雙語)的布落客主人&總編輯時尚高潮創辦已經10年之久,源起加拿大,7年前中風後轉戰台灣,也新增了不少當地的粉絲。 身為總編的我回台後立即受到相關業者的關注,包括台南市政府觀光局,並連續兩年內被台南市政府顧用介紹台南英文友善特色商店與推廣台灣觀光業!請見: 2017: http://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/ 2018: http://fashionecstasy.com/top-5-tain 因為我是嚴重中風生存者,動過開腦手術,所以對鬧部心血管疾病跟醫療有專業的知識,至今仍在治療中,所以沒有上班、可以趕稿,也特別需要這份工作 我從小在國外長大,精通中英文! 我也曾與許多全球知名的品牌(美妝包括Body Shop, The Face Shop, Schwarzkopf 等等合作,請參考: 學歷我擁有意大利服裝設計名校Istituto Marangoni Masters 的碩士學位,精通Adobe各項設計軟體,包括Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, 跟 InDesign, PDF Acrobat Pro. 我也善長使用現當最受大眾喜愛的網路社交軟體,Fashion Ecstasy 的所有關方社交網站都是由我ㄧ手管理,追蹤人數請參考: 臉書/Facebook Fashion Ecstasy (http://fashionecstasy.com)追蹤人術/粉絲: 3335 推特/Twitter: I 追蹤人數2270 Instagram/IG: @fashionecstasy (http://www.instagram.com/fashionecstasy) 追蹤人數:3491 抖音Tiktok: @tanya.fashionecstasy 追蹤人數:306000 除了管理Fashion Ecstasy 的官方設交網站外,我還有自己私人的帳號 (Twitter: @HsuTanya Instagram: @tanya.fashionecstasy) 我去過四十幾個國家,可以無障礙的運用專業及當下流行的術語。日文略懂 轉戰台灣後,立即收許多粉絲注目,也連續兩年被台南市政府顧用介紹台南的特色商店與推廣台灣觀光業! 請見: http://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/ 2018: https://fashionecstasy.com/top-5-tainan-english-friendly-stores-2018/ 2017: https://fashionecstasy.com/6-top-english-friendly-stores-for-travelers-in-tainan/ Youtube頻道https://www.youtube.com/user/FashionEcstasydotcom?sub_confirmation=1 (訂閱人數:5.23K) 希望有機會可以跟貴公司合作!與貴公司合作之文章我門都將中英譯,為貴公司帶來以及開發新客戶,真心希望與您合作! 我的聯絡方式: 電話:/ WhatsApp: (+886) 979905968 Line (賴)ID: Tinkeebellezza  ( T 大寫,沒有@,要給我訊息才看得到喔!) WhatsApp ID: tinkerbellezza Wechat ID: tinkerbellezza Email: fashionecstasytv@gmail.com  

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