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(Scroll down for English Version / 英文版向下看)
殘編是冒險家,就連食物都喜歡嘗試奇特的料理。看過殘編各國遊記部落格的人都知道,我出國玩的願望清單有一項是「嘗試古怪或前所未見的食物」。
English Version / 英文版:
am an adventurer; even when it comes to food, I like trying new stuff. Fans who’ve read all my travel blogs to different countries know that one of the things on my bucket list whenever I visit a new country is “trying bizarre foods.”
譬如我在冰島吃過的鯨魚肉、餐廳主廚推薦我點、上菜後盯著我嚥下一口才拿照片給我看、讓我知道自己剛剛吃的是讓我覺得會下十八層地獄、照片裡用水汪汪大眼看鏡頭的超可愛海鸚鵡(Puffin bird)、看起來像發霉、喝起來也一樣噁的冰島青苔酒(Icelandic Schnapps)。在加拿大吃過讓我噁到快吐的小牛腦、人稱天上飛的老鼠做的鴿子肉派,日本健康的生馬肉、有劇毒的眼鏡蛇釀酒、沖繩吃了沒人敢吃的生野豬肉。又如在比利時吃了菜單標著「美式牛排」,上菜時卻是令人傻眼的生牛絞肉中間加一顆生蛋的傻眼料理。在中風前的最後一程貝里斯之旅也吃了含劇毒的獅子魚。
English Version / 英文版:
When I went to Iceland, I tried whale meat and the chef’s recommendation, “Puffin bird,” which is forever haunting me after he watched me take a bite and showed me a picture of what I’d just eaten. I still remember those big cute eyes of the Puffin birds and that evil smirk on that chef after he tricked me into eating them like yesterday. I tried the Icelandic Schnapps made with moss, which tasted exactly as disgusting as it looked. In Canada, I ate deep-fried calf brain that almost made me puke, pigeon (aka. flying rats) pie. In Japan, I tried raw horse meat that’s supposedly “healthier” than other meat, wine made with highly poisonous vipers, and the most ballsy of all, raw boar, which no one dared to eat but I. In Korea, I tried the potentially poisonous raw blowfish and live octopus that many choked to death from eating. In Belgium, I tried the “American Steak” labelled on the menu, but it turned out to be a plate of raw ground beef topped with a raw egg when served, which left us dumbfounded. In Belize, I tried the venomous Lionfish.
必勝客是殘家一老一殘沒幾天就會想吃的東西,因此每每必勝客推出新口味,殘編一定毫不猶豫直接下單。上次必勝客出了融合豬血糕、花生粉、皮蛋跟香菜的「香菜皮蛋豬血糕比薩」,是將所有外國人一致認為世上最噁心的食物通通混在一起的綜合披薩。彼時殘編考慮到萊豬問題,猶豫之下便慢了一步。俗語說得好,「機會是不等人的」,想不到如此就錯過之後被網路意外大受好評的「香菜皮蛋豬血糕比薩」,必勝客竟毫不等人的下架了。從此之後,我每次看到或聽到「豬血糕比薩」這幾個字,就狠狠賞自己一巴掌,記取這次教訓。所以這次一看到必勝客萬聖節推出黑色新口味的「蒜香黑咖哩豬排比薩」,殘編立刻啵啵貓(POP CAT)迷因遊戲競爭態度上身,比自動點擊器還要快速的下單。
English Version / 英文版:
Pizza Hut Taiwan is a trusted brand for us and something both the “elderly” and the “disabled” in this household crave once every few days. Therefore, every time Pizza Hut comes out with a new flavour, we’d be the first to order without hesitation. Last time Pizza Hut Taiwan launched the “Cilantro, Century Egg Pig’s Blood Cake Pizza,” which combined all ingredients voted the most disgusting foods in the world and all foreigners’ nightmares into one pizza. Taking into consideration of the ractopamine pork incident at the time, I hesitated. “Opportunities are for those who are ready.” I hesitated and missed mine. Unexpectedly, the super controversial combination was highly praised by the Internet. If I knew I “only had one chance, one opportunity to seize everything I ever wanted (every bizarre food item on one pizza), would you capture it? Or let it slip?” I should’ve listened to Eminem. Because despite the good reviews and high demands, Pizza Hut discontinued the flavour. From then on, every time I see or hear about the “Cilantro, Century Egg Pig’s Blood Cake Pizza,” I slap my face with remorse to remind myself of this painful and regretful life lesson. Recently, Pizza Hut launched a Halloween-themed black pizza. Despite my disability, I acted faster than the auto-clicker designed for the Pop Cat Game meme. I didn’t even look at the toppings before making an order.
殘編赴義大利讀碩士後,比薩就只吃薄皮的,這次下訂單的時候,即便發現這個新口味並沒有薄餅皮的選項,但深記上回「香菜皮蛋豬血糕比薩」吸取的慘痛教訓,毫不猶豫地立馬下單。
English Version / 英文版:
After going to Italy for my master’s degree, I only eat thin-crust pizzas. However, while placing my order this time, despite having no thin-crust option for the new flavour, I’ve learned my “you snooze, you lose” lesson and placed my order without hesitation anyhow.
12吋的大PIZZA裝著滿滿的食材,難怪一定要厚皮餅皮才頂得住。記得下單時餅皮有兩種選項,一種是芝心,另一種是鬆厚,僅有的兩種選項皆為厚皮。殘編雖然愛吃芝心,但必勝客官網上「蒜香黑咖哩豬排比薩」的照片裡面披薩上本身就有一片起司,殘編又是莫名其妙的機車體質,一般人吃起司有助排便,我是一吃起司就便秘,於是就點鬆厚餅皮。
English Version / 英文版:
The 12-inch large pizza is topped with full-on ingredients, hence the lack of a thin-crust option. Only a thick crust can hold can carry such heavyweight toppings altogether. The flavour is Officially named “Garlic Black Curry Tonkatsu Pizza,” to give you an idea. There is an option for customers to stuff your crust with cheese. Although I do like cheese-stuffed crust, the image of the “Garlic Black Curry Tonkatsu Pizza” on Pizza Hut Taiwan‘s official website already has a piece of cheese in the centre on top of the pizza. Since I have a pain-in-the-a** body that doesn’t make sense and gives me constipation when I overeat cheese, I didn’t opt for the cheese-stuffed crust.
必勝客果然比男人可靠(也可口),即便點的是我平常最討厭的鬆厚餅皮,別出心裁的口味組合好吃到讓我報復似的暴飲暴食,不到40公斤、紙片人的我竟一口氣自己將一個大披薩吃光,僅剩下的一片還是殘媽看到我吃成青蛙肚,即便我雙膝跪地、一邊留著兩行淚水、右手伸出來大聲叫「不~~我還在吃~!」她還是硬生生的從我手中搶去直送冷凍庫冰。
English Version / 英文版:
As expected, Pizza Hut never lets us down as men do. Not to mention their food is also yummier. Even with the thick crust, which I usually loath, the ingenious combination of flavours is so delicious that it makes me can’t stop binge-eating. I’m talking about seriously unstoppable. Even weighing below 90 lbs, I almost finished a full-on large pizza by myself in one breath. The only remaining slice was taken away from me when my mom saw my belly bloating like a frog. I knelt on my knees, burst into tears, reached out with my right arm (good arm)and shouted, “NO~~! I’m still eating~!” while she angrily snatched the last slice away from the palms of my hand and sent it straight to the freezer.
這次的新口味除了餅皮是創新、前所未見的黑色外,每一塊切好的披薩上面最搶眼的應該就是那一塊厚重紮實的金黃色炸豬排了。每一塊炸豬排都同樣大小、同樣圓、只能說師傅切工好,能均衡切到讓每一塊比薩都是剛好能放上一塊黃金炸豬排的大小。分食時才不會有動作慢的老弱婦孺只能搶到小片的變態社會霸凌事件。重磅的黑色餅皮約有一英吋厚(約2.5公分)的厚度,承載料的厚度也沒有比較輕,難怪要這樣搭配。一片比薩拿起來,牽絲拖著長長一條融著起司的料,即便餅皮有一英吋厚,載著滿滿的料的比薩上面的重量還是略勝一籌。拿起一片,若是嘴巴不趕緊「烙ㄟ嗨」似的揍過去接邊緣沈重到快掉下來的料、即便剛剛搶到較大片的披薩、也是白搶了。這時,殘編不禁小小思念還沒整牙前的戽斗下巴。
English Version / 英文版:
In addition to the unprecedented black crust of this new Halloween edition, the most mouth-watering and eye-catching topping on each slice of pizza is the thick and solid tonkatsu (deep-fried pork cutlet). Each pork cutlet is fried to a bright-golden colour. The chef must have superb skills to prepare each piece of tonkatsu to be the same size and equally round. Equality is essential when sharing food like pizza, so when we open the box, and the food war starts, the slower-moving elderly and disabled get a slice of pizza equal in size as everyone else—ruling out the social injustice, woot! Woot! The black pizza crust is about an inch (about 2.5 cm) thick, and the thickness of the toppings is no lesser. No wonder the crust requires 1 inch to hold all ingredients. A long, stringy layer obviously involving cheese as an ingredient stretches so long that when you pick up a slice of pizza, you need to duck your head under and catch the heavyweight toppings that are almost falling off the edges with your mouth like a ladle, or else even if you’re holding a slice of pizza equally big in size like everyone else, your loot goes to waste. At this point, I missed my underbite chin before my braces for the first time.
根據拿起一片批薩的手感和重量,殘編跟殘媽都猜測這黑餅皮應該是被重磅級的墨魚汁染黑的,但一口咬下,雖然上面的料多汁鹹美,咬到下層只有餅皮的部分卻意外輕盈,鹹度也沒了。於是殘編就篤定這一切應該都是竹炭的功勞。果不其然,上網一查,我專業到可以當米其林密探審查員的美食家味纍果然沒讓我漏氣,必勝客的黑餅皮是選用天然孟宗竹高溫窯燒研磨的竹炭粉做出來的,所以味道天然,可以跟上面稍偏重鹹的料做搭配、平衡一下。
English Version / 英文版:
Based on the texture and weight of picking up each slice of pizza, both of us assumed that Pizza Hut uses the heavyweight squid ink for the crust to achieve the black colour. However, the crust is nowhere near as juicy and flavourful (salty) as the toppings after a bite. The crust tastes unexpectedly light, whereas squid ink usually provides a strong taste, so I then determined that the black colour’s credit goes to bamboo charcoal. My professional Michelin inspectors’ level tastebuds didn’t fail me. After checking on Pizza Hut Taiwan’s official website, the black crust is dyed with bamboo charcoal and tastes natural, which is perfect to balance out the flavourful ingredients above.
上面一層濃濃的黑色醬是黑咖哩醬和黑美奶滋,兩樣都是殘編至今沒聽過的。咖哩是選用雲林產的黑蒜當咖哩醬基底,所以一口咬下,咖哩中散有蒜香味。讓誰都欲罷不能的秘密食材就藏在那一層厚厚綿密的馬鈴薯泥。我說誰都會欲罷不能,因為你如果頂得住,一定是小時候在學校吃中餐都要躲在角落自己默默吃便當的怪胎。誰不愛吃馬鈴薯泥?難怪沒人想跟你吃飯。讓披薩牽絲的食材八成應該就是莫札瑞拉起司。豬排肉質外酥,內裡一層嫩、一層紮實還帶筋,多重口感與極致美味,只要嘴張得夠大即可一口滿足,而且擺料到直徑最大的邊緣,意味著必勝客著重比薩上面用料的豪爽霸氣,披薩上面不忘細膩的撒上蔥花點綴。
English Version / 英文版:
The thick black sauce on the top layer is a mixture of black curry paste and black mayonnaise, both of which I haven’t heard of before. The curry sauce uses black garlic produced locally in Yunlin as the base, allowing the aromas of garlic to circulate throughout your nose and mouth after each bite. The secret ingredient that makes anyone start binge-eating this pizza is the thick layer of mashed potatoes hidden in the thick layer of toppings. I said “anyone,” because if you don’t like mashed potatoes, you’re a weirdo, probably one of those kids who had to sit alone during lunchtime back in school. Who doesn’t like mashed potatoes? Your mom probably prepared your lunchbox with carrots and chicken feet. Mozzarella cheese is what makes the topping stringy. The pork chops (tonkatsu) are crispy on the outside, with a mixed texture of tender and firm on the inside and a touch of the elasticity texture of the tendon, giving you multiple tastes and texture in one bite. One bite of this pizza is an explosion of flavours in your mouth, if you can open your mouth wide enough without dislocating your jaw, that is. Each tonkatsu (pork cutlet) on every slice is placed on the edge of the pizza, meaning at the largest diameter, maximizing the size of the pork cutlets. There are no cutting corners with this new edition. The pizza is sprinkled with green onions for a bit of garnishing.
殘編覺得讓這次必勝客創新的比薩「點炭成金」的食材,就在從頭到尾灑滿帕瑪森起司的這一步驟。帕瑪森起司灑完一烤,餅皮竟立馬從「鬆軟」搖身一變變成從頭脆到尾,甚至平常還要沾滿蒜香醬或凱薩醬才嚥得下口的那一塊,都能原味咖呲咖呲的、吃得好不爽快。黑色的樣式剛好應景搭配即將到來的萬聖節。今年萬聖節口號何不把「不給糖就搞怪」改成「不給披薩就搞怪」?這次Pizza Hut必勝客新出的蒜香黑咖哩豬排比薩殘編給予滿分十分,必勝客官方如果看到這篇食記,殘編跪求再出一次「豬血糕披薩」因為英文有一句諺語:「Everyone deserves a second chance」,殘編知錯了,再給我一次機會吧!大佬?
English Version / 英文版:
The finishing touch, which immediately takes this pizza up a notch or two, is sprinkling Parmesan cheese throughout the whole pizza. This ingenious finishing transforms the crust from “fluffy” to crispy from the beginning to the last bite after baking, eliminating the need for garlic, ranch, or blue cheese sauce for dips. Delicious on its own. The black colour fits the upcoming Halloween theme. So instead of “Trick or treat,” how about some “Trick or Pizza” for this year’s Halloween?
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